Quality of Life OR Why I'm Sending my Child to Disney World

Today is bill paying day and I suppose this is going to be a bit more serious than previous posts. I sat down this morning and sent off checks for all my bills and then I used paypal to send off $75 for Tuba Girl's band trip to Disney World at the end of November. The band will be performing in a Very Important Parade or some such and it costs $450 to get there.

To clear up any misunderstandings or assumptions that may be going on, I accept government benefits for my family. I work and I accept bennies. Sometimes I'm perfectly okay with that and at other times I'm not okay with it. I have to realign my thinking from time to time and think about whether what I am doing is the best possible solution for my children in terms of providing.

Mostly what I want is a job that will pay for everything they need so I don't feel I need those benefits. But this was the job I got. I'm  thankful for this job because there are so many of my people who don't have jobs. (By "my people" I mean the people in my county. They're mine whether they opt to deal with that or not.)

At any point, I've seen various comments on the web that people who accept Food Stamps or Medicaid for their children have no right to expect "extras." That you should take that money you set aside for your child's activities and spend it on food or insurance. (When you figure out how I can pay for insurance and food on a hundred bucks a month, let me know.) Basically other than saying that the poor are incompetent money managers they also mean that lower income children should suffer as befits the poor.That poverty begets austerity and everyone should just suck it up and get over it.

That's their opinion and they can shove it up their ass. My children did not ask to be poor and I sure as hell am not going to expect them to live their lives according to how others think we should be living. Ramen noodles and hot dogs are not a nutritious dinner. Sitting in your front yard playing with sticks and bottle caps is not going to teach you shit about what's out there in the world. (Although I'm not opposed to playing with sticks and bottle caps from time to time. It offers an opportunity for creative thinking.)

My daughter has a loving abide of music. She has a need as a human being to bond with like-minded people. She deserves an opportunity to expand her horizons beyond this trailer park and it is my job as a parent to give her every opportunity I can to do just that. I once told someone that I really can't afford for her to be in band, but I also can't afford for her to not be in band. The experiences and knowledge she receives through playing the sousaphone are not experiences and knowledge I can give her at home.

My boys are in Boy Scouts and that is not a free enterprise. It costs money. But it also gives them an opportunity to bond with other children outside of school. It gives them a sense of belonging to a community. They have the opportunity to interact with adults who take a concern in their well-being. I'll pay for that. Even though I'm not too big on the god deal, I can be a flexible person.

My goal in this life is not to find peace and contentment in my poverty. My goal in this life is to find peace and contentment in being the best damned parent I can be. If that means dropping my pride outside the DFCS door or doing without something so my kid can go wear a wool elevator operator uniform and drag around a huge ass instrument, then that's my job.

My goal is not to keep my children in poverty and constantly remind them they're poor.My goal is to give them every opportunity I can to get the hell out. To go be productive members of society who can remember what it's like to not always have everything you need or want and treat people accordingly.

My goal is to raise children who never bitch about how all their money goes to "welfare queens" and "sorry ass" people. For every "sorry ass person" there is a child somewhere who needs an opportunity to rise. I want them to grow up and remember what's been done for them so they can do for others.

I also know that people in third world countries are infinitely poorer than I am. But guess what? I don't live in a damned third world country. I live here - supposedly the greatest country in the world where people can rise above their obSTACKles. People don't rise alone and they don't rise if someone thinks they can keep a boot on their neck and demand they rise on their own. If I wanted to raise my children as if we lived in a third world country, I'd damned go live in a third world country.

So yeah, while our food may be paid for by taxpayer money, I don't exactly find myself beholden to pushing my children into doing without to fit into someone else's ideal of what the poverty ridden should be doing.The rest of the world doesn't get to decide the quality of life my children should receive. That's on me and my goal is to give them whatever quality I can get.

$985 dollars minus $75 for my child's band trip leaves $910.