Hammer Time

I don't know if all women love tools, but I frigging love tools. I especially love tools that make big noises - power drills, band saws, circular  saws, impact wrenches. I really love the sound of an impact wrench. My weird love of power tool sounds probably comes from a childhood hanging around the school bus garage where my stepdad was the foreman mechanic.

I don't actually have any power tools. Besides not having anywhere to store them, I also don't actually do enough "handy things" to warrant putting that kind of money into power tools. Although, I am seriously considering throwing down the money for a table saw this year because I can't find one I can borrow on any long term use.(That really means no one has magically shown up at my house and given me a table saw.)

While we can't all fritter away our money on neato saws and air wrenches, there are a few tools that every woman needs. I say women because I'm assuming I'm talking to women and we need our own tools. Sure, you could borrow someone else's tools, but I'm a firm believer in a woman having her own "things." So here is a list of basic tools I believe everyone should have.

• Phillips head screwdriver

Basic screws require either a Phillips head or a flat head screwdriver. I'm sure everyone has needed a screwdriver at some point - to wrangle a goddamned toy out of the packaging, replace batteries, tighten pot handles, or tighten the arms on eyeglasses. A Phillips head in small, medium and large can always come in handy.

• flat head screwdriver - Seriously, a butter knife is only going to get you so far.
  

• hammer - Maybe you want to hammer a nail or hammer that stupid damned toy that won't come out of the packaging.
  
• tape measure - Pretty self explanatory.
  
• pliers  - When I pulled the carpet out of my house, I found out that it was stapled to the floor. I guess that's what I get for buying a house one step away from being put together with duct tape, but you know, whatever. The pliers came in handy when I had to pull them out of the OSB board I call subflooring. They can be used for other things, I just can't remember what right at the moment.
  
• wrench - It's just good to have some wrenches. My car wouldn't crank on Christmas morning for some ungodly reason. It's probably the same reason behind my dryer belt breaking at 6 AM on Christmas morning. Anyway, it turns out my battery cables were loose, probably from driving down some damned hard core muddy driveways. A couple of turns with a wrench and I was in the road again.
  
• level - Hanging a picture or putting up a wall shelf works much better if check to see if it's actually level. Unless, of course, you're going for some abstract lopsided look.

Other things I keep on hand:

1. hacksaw - I have, from time to time, repaired my own water pipes. I need the hacksaw to cut out the leaking pipe and cut the new pipe to size. (Though a hacksaw does not work for cutting down a small dead tree, just to let you know.)
2. drill - sometimes you just need to drill a hole somewhere.
   
3. hex keys - necessary for changing brakes and for certain other kind of screw doohickeys
4. socket wrenches - changing brakes and other car mechanicy stuff.
   

If you're interested in buying a set of basic tools for yourself, this looks like a pretty decent set up.  Task Force is a fairly cheap brand, but should be sufficient for basic household repairs. Normal people just don't need Craftsman or Snap-On.

I had a nice little assortment at one point, but my father and the boys' father kept "borrowing" them and never fucking returned them. So if I were you and there are men living in your house, I thoroughly recommend you take time to paint all your tools with a nice glossy pink paint and maybe spray a little glitter to just be safe. I bet that would give them a moment to assess whether they really want to run off with your damned tools.