Little Projects A, B, and C

I have not made any new year's resolutions as I'm very bad at them. I briefly considered taking up a vice like smoking crank or something just to shake The Man's resolution system but ultimately decided against it as I really can't afford it and I do like my teeth.

I have realized over the past couple of weeks, however, that I'm the kind of person who needs a mission to feel like a person who exists on a real level. (Whatever that means.) When I finally dedicated myself to finishing my bachelor's, I was consumed between maintaining my grades and keeping the kids in one piece. I graduated in May and I've just sort of been . . . drifting since then. I scrambled and finally found a job. (Which was a BITCH in this economy, BTW.) And now I've been drifting through this job, driving the kids to their things and whatever the hell else it is that I do.

Maybe I have actually been productive. I found a job. I feed, clothe, homework school, chauffer and otherwise tend to my children. Help my friends. Clean my house, but mostly I've drifted and I've sort of been okay with that because going back to school dragging three children along for the ride was pretty damned stressful and I've been tired for a long time so this job, even though it doesn't pay shit for beans, has been good in that it's given me sometime to recharge my batteries and figure out what my next step is in life.

Well, it's been eight months and I still don't know what the hell my next step is or when it's going to be. I'm all aflustered trying to decide whether I should go back for an acronym (MLIS, MAT, MFA, FTW) or try to go straight into teaching whenever the local schools decide they're going to hire again or just set my mind on winning the lottery.

So for the moment, I've decided I need a couple of projects to help me focus. I focus best when I have a few things going on. The stress gives me life or something. I don't know. I was diagnosed with ADD as an adult. I'm not going to sit around and explain it all day, but suffice it to say, I think it has something to do with that.

Funny, all those years I thought I was completely surrounded by dumb fuckers and it turned out I might have actually had a problem. That'll cause some psychological hypochondria. (And I'm not entirely convinced the world isn't absolutely covered in dumb fuckers that I must constantly wade through every day of my life.)

So here is my list o' projects I want to handle this year:

1. Work out at least three days a week. 
1. This has less to do with my weight than it does with wanting to be healthy. I went through a good period where I took really good care of myself. I worked out, cut out all the sugar, and  drank plenty of water. However, I fuckered up during my senior capstone, though. I let the stress eat me alive. I couldn't sleep, I quit working out, and I basically lived on snickers bars for breakfast and lunch for a good six months. When you have a routine and you do well with that routine, it's really easy. But falling off once is hard and falling off for months on end is like being swept out to sea. It's so hard to get back to where you were.
   
2. House repairs
1. Two soft spots in the flooring will have to be ripped out and replaced. 
2. Because I put down interlocking laminate flooring, all of it is going to have to be ripped up and replaced because of the two soft spots. 
3. Replace the water heater. 
4. Finishing casing in the kitchen window. 
5. Might as well repaint the walls while I'm putting down new flooring. 
6. Build the bookshelves I want. 
7. Run new crown molding or whatever that shit is called.
3. Plant a garden (I know I'm setting myself up for failure. I can't help it.)
1. Many people may not know it, but you can buy vegetable seeds and plants meant for a home garden with food stamps, so I intend to take advantage of that this year.
   
2. I am currently reading Month-by-Month Gardening in Georgia and Guide to Georgia Vegetable Gardening. 
3. My plan is to attempt to educate myself about gardens and then plan it all out over the next two months.
   
4. It aggravates the flying fuck out of me to consistently fail at something. I'm the kind of hooker who will keep trying something over and over until I can do it. I may takes long breaks in between, but sooner or later I'm going to come back to it until I figure it out. After that, I'll usually just move on to the next thing that's aggravating the hell out of me and completely forget everything I ever learned. I really need to update my internal RAM.
   
4. Begin prepping a portfolio in case I decide an MFA is the way to go. 
1. Technically speaking, I know that an MFA is not going to bring me huge megabucks, but I'm basically going to have to go back for a Master's at some point if I'm going to teach so I may as well continue to focus in an area I enjoy. Sort of. Actually, I'm not sure I enjoy writing at all anymore. My intense meh-ness towards writing was a major reason I began this blog. I wanted something that would be fun to write and I didn't have to worry myself into a snickers bar breakdown over word placement and the meaning of my paragraph structure. In that end, things are going fairly well. I get to be basic me here without major Jack Handy thoughts reflected through the lens of a specific area of my being. Or something.
   
2. Maybe I'll drop the MFA, go to tech school and major in auto mechanics. Education choices are such a pain in the ass. 

So those are my three major projects for this year. If you'll notice, I bolded a few things. These are the things that definitely will get down. The rest of it all depends on how life goes.

My intentions are to regularly update on those projects so at least I'll have something interesting to talk about. I can't walk on here everyday and talk about people shitting in my library chairs like I do at  sybermoms. I like to have some variety somewhere.

Later, hookers.