It's been a while

(Why is it I always steal my titles from song lyrics?)

So I'm not an everyday blogger. Sorry about that. I developed some creeping crud that left me speaking in tongues and begging for a firing squad. It started off as a chest cold, then quickly invaded my sinuses. Finally, a strep throat assault did me in.  Maybe strep throat doesn't affect everyone that way, but it seems to throw my ass to the ground and beat me about the throatal area with pointy toed boots. (Yes, I know throatal is not a real word, but I'm claiming it my right. I was a creative writing major and I figure there must be some sort of special perk, like getting to make up words, involved in that.)

So you know what the strep throat means? There must be a major holiday right around the corner! And according to my calendar, why yes, it is Thanksgiving on Thursday. No KAR holiday is complete without some agitating and sometimes freaky issue taking place. Last year it was the sprained ankle from falling down a step (yes, one step)  three days before Christmas. My sister picked me up from work and made me go to the emergency room on Christmas Eve because she was convinced I'd broken it and I got to spend Christmas Day impeded by a soft cast or some such thing.

At leat it wasn't broken, but I quickly found out that I do not make a very patient patient and I don't think I will be one of those people to grow old and senile with any sort of grace. I'm apparently going to rage against the dying of the light and maybe throw a can of Ensure at a few people to carry the message across. I'm going to old people prison. And if I do, I'm taking a few bitches with me so I can create a little old lady gang.

I would like to say Tuba Girl is turning out to be a very nice nurse. If I had to give her a name, I think it would be Nurse Wratchet. She means well, but she's pretty adamant about following her directions. She kept trying to make me eat when I couldn't even swallow my own spit and she kept calling people to tell them I was sick and I wouldn't eat and the next thing you know, my mother thinks I'm dying. As a mother, I am apparently not allowed to get sick. It upsets the fulchrum. She's a great kid. She told me I took care of her all the time when she was sick so she wanted to take care of me. <3

So, I'll be back soon hookers with something possibly infotaining. I'm still trying to get myself together.